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Augh, did someone blog in here?

January 11, 2011

Was it you, Johnson?  Johnson you ought to know better than to render blog inside.  I’m so embarrassed on his behalf.

Ok, Johnson’s been forcibly removed from the premises.  It wasn’t easy, and unfortunately, he left his blog here and it looks like it’s one of these blogs that’s going to be hard to get rid of.  I wouldn’t even know if you should use hot water or cold water or seltzer and salt or some other thing.  It’s probably already too late; once it soaks into the shag, you just know you’re going to need some kind of miracle (like the power of orange oil) to remove it, and we used our entire supply to get rid of Johnson himself.  There’s no point in even trying to scrub this blog out; the more you try, the more it’ll spread.

But hey, the blog isn’t so bad when you get used to it.  In fact, in an odd way, it’s somewhat pleasant.  Maybe it’s just an acquired taste… like Johnson himself.

Speaking of Johnson, I kind of miss the little guy.  So what if he was largely invisible and vaguely racist?  He was our largely invisible vague racist.

And check this blog out!  Alas, it was his final contribution.  Maybe in his twisted, syphilitic mind, it was a gift to the company, a company which was his family, from the moment he hatched until the moment the corporate security tied his satanic punim to the railroad tracks a few seconds ago.

I propose that we don’t try to get rid of the blog with magnificent solvents, but that we instead use it to celebrate us, to commemorate this, our continued existence!  to rejoice in our persistent being, a durable propagator of Johnson’s memory, which Johnson gave his life for (let’s pretend that that’s true).  For though his corporeal existence was ephemeral (was not his miniature malnourished rat body a fragile thing?), his bloggy discharge will survive on the backups of commercial servers for as long as we pay the hosting fees.

In Memoriam

Johnson, 2011

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